James, I can't believe you still got it, this is a banger.
You inspired me to pursue animation and content creation, it's still something that I want to achieve and it's what I'm currently going to college for. I understand that you feel like you can't atone for your toxicity and grow to become a better person, especially when people keep reminding you of your past. You were young, you had a rough upbringing, you did things you shouldn't have, but those shouldn't define who you are and who you can be.
I wish you the best.